There are many things people in this world fear. Nearly everyone has heard of the major ones—Acrophobia (heights), Claustrophobia (confined spaces), Arachnophobia (spiders)—but along with those are ones no one would suspect—Consecotaleophobia (chopsticks), Cyanophobia (the color blue), Phobophobia (phobias)—and the list goes on, with each seeming more irrational than the one before. However, when it finally comes to Homilophobia, or the fear of sermons, one has to stop and wonder, “Why would anyone be afraid of a sermon?” Without an answer of my own, looking to George Washington Harris’ “Parson John Bullen’s Lizards,” may lend reason to this seemingly ridiculous fear.
Right at the beginning of Bullen’s sermon, the reader begins to see why one would experience some Homilophobia. According to Sut, “He [Bullen] tole ’em [the sinners] how the ole Hell-sarpents would sarve em if they didn’t repent; how cold they’d crawl over their naked bodies, and how like onto pitch they’d stick to ’em as they crawled…” (237-238). Certainly, what the preacher paints is an unpleasant picture, and gives anyone reason to fear him, his sermon, and wait awaits them. But then again, if one considers the actuality of his threat, it is simply ridiculous. To literally be attacked by lizards because of one’s sin does not seem the most logical, or likely, mode of punishment. Sut apparently agreed, for he released his “Hell-sarpents” upon the nasty Bullen, causing him to exclaim, “Brethren, brethren, take care of yourselves, the Hell-sarpents has got me!” (239). This is the defining moment, proving just how foolish preaching of fire and damnation is, since when the “Hell-sarpents” really do appear, the reader must laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation.
The irony in the story is simply wonderful. In its earliest moments, Bullen’s righteousness is enough to make one want to gag, with his “a preachin’ to me [Sut] so you coulda hearn him a mile, about startin sins gen’rally and my wickedness pussonly; and mentionin’ the name of my frien loud enough to be hearn to the meetin’-house” (236). That is why it is an especially satisfying moment when Bullen in earnest yells out, “They’ve got me!” obviously believing his time of judgment has come. Not until later does he realize it was not God, but Sut who sent the Hell-sarpents. Fortunately, now it is too late, and everyone knows what happened. Not only did the lowly Sut make a fool of the presumably better Parson Bullen, but he also proved how full of folly those who preach damnation are. For all their words against sinners, most of the time, they are nothing but sinners themselves.
The humor of this story comes from many things: the dialect, the slapstick, the not-quite-cussing-curses (like calling Bullen a “pot-bellied, scaley-hided, whisky-wastin, stinkin ole groun-hog”), but for me, the best part is the aforementioned irony of a presumably “orful sinner” like Sut getting the better of a righteous preacher like Bullen (237). Sometimes there is nothing more enjoyable then seeing lizards come crawling out the clothing of someone spitting and hollering about Hell-sarpents sticking to a sinner’s skin.
Culberston, Fredd. The Phobia List. 17 July 1995. Fredd’s Web Whereabouts. 23 January 2009. http://phobialist.com.
Harris, George Washington. “Parson John Bullen’s Lizards.” Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor. Ed. Roy Blount, Jr. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 1994. 235-241.
You took a very interesting approach to that reading. I would have never thought of going the route you used as far as phobias go, but it was clever. The irony of the preachers being full of folly was also something that struck my eye as well. It's always funny when irony is so cleverly worked in stories like in this one where it was the preacher who suffered in the irony. I definitely wanted to gag at his early-on righteousness, too--haha. I also think you stated well all of the combinations that made the story funny, all that you mentioned were agreeably contributions to the humor.
ReplyDeleteMark Twain called the type of swearing Harris can create artful ...you might also compare the Parson's sermon to the serious ones--like Jonathan Edwards's "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" for another look. The parody asks, "Is it more effective to threaten the faithful with Hell or to promise them Heaven? Is the glass half-full or half-empty? I think for the humorist the philosophy is more optimistic, even when they are the most vehemently railing against a particular social ill. The ranting presupposes that there will be or can be change.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it interesting that the preacher believes (even when most of his congregation figures out he's being duped) that the hell-lizards have really got him, that "his time of judgment has come" as you say? What secrets does this preacher have that make being attacked by lizards seem like a reasonable punishment from God?
ReplyDelete